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Black memories

27/09/2009

These is one of the old posts from the older version of “Aree kya baat hai”. Re-reading the old posts is like remembering a dream that you think that you had forgotten, yet that was just sitting there, waiting to be called. This post is about the time I was living in Delhi 25 years ago. I was working as a general doctor at that time.

There are so many things that I wish I go back into time and change them. This post is about such memories.

“I suddenly thought of the man and his daughter. I was writing about the daily “Sofie’s choice” that you make as father or mother, when you don’t know if you are going to eat that day, when you decide which of your children is going to eat and how much, if you can take your child to the doctor… and I thought of them.

He was from Rajasthan, he had said. His thin sun-burnt face creased with lines. Broke stones on the roads because there was nothing to eat in the village. His wife and two children were dead. Only that girl was left. 8-9 years old, thin with wise eyes. She was sick, swaying slightly. Had diarrhea and vomiting. She was dehydrated. It was Sunday afternoon and I had promised Nadia that we would go out. I gave him some medicines and told him to come back next morning. There was no other way. Saw him after a few months. How is your daughter, I had asked. She died that night when we had come to see you, he had said simply. Without any hint of resentment or anger in his voice.

Every now and then I think of Triveni. In the servant quarters. Blood soaking her sari. Sitting there with blood on my hands, unable to do any thing. She still comes in my nightmares, making me wake up with heart pounding in the chest. Her daughters must be grown up and married. Wonder what kind of lives they had. Did her husband get remarried?”

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